Someone is Most Assuredly Legend

'Ello, you lucky people!

So, yeah yeah, I know it's been a long-ass time since my last post. I hadn't been feeling the blog. It happens. But here I am with a few different topics that I could choose to focus upon in this, my return blog. What am I going to do? Talk about all of them! I was way too excited just then.

New Jersey was great. Yes, believe it or not, it's been that long since I blogged last. I had some preconcieved notions about what it would be like and for the most part the negative notions were squashed. I was very impressed with the transit system in NJ. Trains are such a good idea and they work. The conductors (or, let's be honest, ticket takers) wear the little hats, which kinda made me laugh. I kept expecting one of them to blow a whistle and tell me a story about Thomas the Tank Engine. The only complaint I have about NJ Transit is that it's very expensive, or seemed to be. I did only travel to and from the airport and to and from NYC.

That's right, I went to New York City while I was there. How could I not? I'd never been. It was good to go and I enjoyed myself while I was there. That being said, I didn't really see what all the hype was about. Yeah, it's very cool with the big buildings and stuff, but there's too many damn people. I think the only way I'd want to live there is if I had an assload of money and could afford to live in The Dakota or somewhere near there.

I guess I'd rather live in New Jersey if given the choice. Not New Brunswick, which Lincoln and Kristen live. NB is an industrial suburb and is kinda scary when you're walking around. I blame it on being too close to Newark. I just passed through Newark on the train and I think that's all the Newark I'm ever gonna need. No, the bit of NJ where I want to live is the coast. Specifically Red Bank or Atlantic Highlands. So East-coasty and nice. There were huge estates right close to the water. I actually saw scooners. I thought they were just a bedtime story. Red Bank is like Cherry Creek. The one time on my whole trip I felt like I wouldn't get mugged. So, despite what anyone says, I will always say New Jersey is great.

Back to Colorado. Work has been crazy. Really, the only crazy time in a ballet company's season is Nutcracker. I'm a little more than halfway done with the shows, but there are still 9. I'm gonna get some sweet days off from Christmas day to Jan 3 which I'll use to do FUCK ALL, but that means I have to work up to and including Christmas Eve. That's not so great, but when I started the job I was warned that "we work while others play" which made it seem like I'd be working every weekend and have no time to do anything else. Well I am working every weekend, but it's not like I don't have time to do other crap. So, if you want to see me, you should probably come to the Ballet.

Here's a few random-weird thoughts that I've had recently: One is laundry and one is bathroom. I know you're intrigued. Laundry first. I've been doing laundry for a really long time and there's something that's always bugged me about it. How come every shirt you put in the laundry turns inside out before the process is done? This mostly involves button-up shirts but it always seems to happen. I've tried to figure out what causes it. At first I thought it was just the motion of the cycles that causes it, so I tried turning every shirt inside out before I put them in. You know what happened? Nothing. They stayed inside out. It doesn't make any sense. It's like their natural state of being is inside out and we're persecuting the shirts into remaining "outside out" as Todd calls it. One week, the left sleeve on every one of my shirts turned inside out. It's like the bermuda triangle in the tumble dryer or something.

Now the bathroom. This one is a little gross, so bear with me. You're in the bathroom, public or otherwise, and sitting on the toilet doing yuh bih-ness. When you're done you get up, hitch up your pants and go wash your hands. Or at least you should. But have you ever thought about that? You wash your hands and that's great. It's necessary. But have we all overlooked the fact that BEFORE our hands are washed, we put our hands all over our pants and belts and what not? There's nothing we can do about it though. In the privacy of your own bathroom, sure, you can stand up and hobble over to the sink and wash up before hitching up your shit. But not in public. And let's face it, public restrooms aren't the cleanest places in the world. So you have to hitch up your drawers and then go wash your hands, carrying with you the germs on your crotch the whole rest of the day. It was an epiphany I had recently. A horrifying, disgusting epiphany.

I've seen four movies, miraculously, in the last two months which I will briefly discuss.
30 DAYS OF NIGHT: Based on a graffic novel (as half the films out these days are) where vampires decide to ransack a little Alaskan town where the sun sets for 30 days at a time. Brilliant concept. The first graphic novel is the only one I've read and the film follows it pretty faithfully. It was surprisingly gorey for a theatrical release. Some dude gets his head hacked off with an axe in full view. I did appreciate that the film didn't try to change the ending and make it an "up" as another film I've recently seen did. Good flick for horror fans or anyone who liked the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead as both films have similar styles and sensibilities. Almost more action than horror.

AMERICAN GANGSTER: This movie was pretty good. That's all. PRETTY good. Golden Globe nomination worthy? I didn't think so. It tells the "true" story of Frank Lucas who single-handedly took over the heroin racket in New York. Denzel Washington plays the character with a decent mix of sophistication and insanity. The trouble is that the real Frank Lucas was nearly illiterate and was basically just a violent thug who made the right connections. Russell Crowe was better as the NJ cop who eventually brings Lucas down, though it pains me to like Russell Crowe in movies knowing what a tool he is. This makes two in a row (also including 3:10 to Yuma) It was too long for the story it had to tell and the ending was incredibly rushed. Better not win Best Picture.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN: This movie definitely SHOULD win best picture. Not just because I love the Coen Brothers, but because it's a different type of movie and in some places is as intense as any horror movie. The performances are top notch and much needs to be said of how well the characters develop through very little dialogue. If Javier Bardem doesn't win an Oscar for this, I will boycott something. Not sure what, but something. It's a modern western coupled with a chase/heist film wrapped up in existentialism. Josh Brolin will no doubt be overlooked in this film, but he was just as good as Bardem.

I AM LEGEND: Last night I went at midnight to see the most anticipated movie of the year for me. I Am Legend is by far my favorite book ever. This film version marks the third time the book as officially been adapted. The book is a scientific look at vampires. One man is the only person immune to a virus that literally turned the whole world into vampires. He tries to figure out the cause of his immunity while killing all the vampires he could. Only the first adaptation, 1964's The Last Man On Earth, actually depicts the creatures as vampires and follows the book very faithfully. The second one, 1971's The Omega Man, turns the vampires into weird nuclear-age mutants who are just light sensitive and insane. They're still sentient creatures, but they've decided that technology is bad. This new version takes from both. They're not specifically "vampires" but pretty much they are. Will Smith does a good job as the last man on Earth, acting mostly opposite a dog, mannequins, and CGI monsters. The one thing none of the versions have gotten right is the bleak and wonderful ending of the book. The book ends with Neville, the last uninfected human on Earth, realizing that he is a relic from another time. The boogeyman for a new population. The vampires fear him because he kills them and he finally has to face the fact that his being alive isn't helping anyone in the new society and allows himself to be put to death. Without ruining the ending of the film too much, there's too much hope at the end. Even though, as with the other two films, there isn't a happy ending, there is an upbeat ending. Still a good movie worth seeing and still incredibly well made and effective, but I just kinda wish it was a little more apocalyptic. I guess people don't want hopelessness around the Christmas season.

Enough of this.

Talk at ya later and keep circulating the tapes.